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Feb. 20th, 2014

So I'm sorry that I took such a long absence from LJ- my boyfriend dumped me without explanation, and I went into an incredibly deep depression that was...well. Pretty deep. And awful.

Since then I've gotten a lovely new kitten named Scarlett O'Hara (who is over a year old now, so not at all a kitten), and have my own apartment and have somewhat come to terms with my sexuality and anxiety. And have gone back to the exact job I had four years ago.

I'd really, REALLY like to get back into writing fanfiction again. Really badly. So if anyone is willing to usher me back into the fandoms, I'd appreciate it. As in...just point me to the best communities, and help me get my feet back under me. I need muses. I need to write Tony/Pepper Post IM-3 fanfiction. I need to READ Tony/Pepper post IM-3 fanfiction.

The smuttier the better, folks. Like...it's really the best stuff. People have imaginations. They rule.

Sep. 29th, 2012

Anyone here have any experience with bipolar disorder?

I ask because...well, my boyfriend, whom I've only been seeing a month, is bipolar. This does not in any way bother me, because he's taking medication and dealing with it...but as he goes through a period of adjustment with new medication, I don't know exactly how to deal with things. I'm not giving up on him, by any means, but a friend of ours told me there are days he doesn't want to pick up the phone when I call, and while I completely respect that...I want to know how to KNOW when he's having days like that. Because /I/ have days like that, sometimes, and while I'm not bipolar, I'm just depressed.

So I need to know HOW to deal. Or at the very least I need someone I can talk to about it, so I can learn how to remind myself it isn't ME, and that I'm still fine. If that makes sense.

Ugh. I love him- I do- and I want to do everything right. But I've never dealt with this before, so I don't know exactly what 'right' is.

Jun. 24th, 2012

I wanted to thank everyone at once for being so supportive. I'm moving back home for sure now, the absolute clincher being that my current boss is the most poisonous personality I've ever known, and I can't take it. According to my fellow supervisors she basically threw me under the bus when my new boss called to request my transfer, and that absolutely burns me, because everything she says I can't do are things she could have helped me improve upon. 

I'm excited now, because I know that I'm loved at home, and no matter what I do there everyone will support and help me. Because that's what families do, and that crew IS my family.
I need to go see The Avengers again. I need to do something mindless, because I'm so stressed out right now that I can't think. I have a big decision to make, and I don't know what to do.

It makes me wish that I believed in God, so I'd have someone to show me what to do. Or to at least guide me in the right direction.
Matt Smith. With the torch.
I mean, I'm thrilled- I am- but David Tennant... *sigh* would've been adorable.

So it isn't much, and I may or may not play with it more later...
But there's this. And I love this.

I couldn't wait- I had to see you.” Her breath was a series of quick pants as she pressed against his neck, lips dancing along the fine hairs across his skin.

“You've seen me all day.” But he didn't push her away- she'd known he wouldn't- the thrill of a clandestine meeting in the midst of so many cops was something he'd have dreamed about, secretly, for years. Four years. It would be fodder for his next book, a hot and heavy scene with Heat and Rook, and she'd find a time to tease him incessantly about every little detail.

Later. That moment would be later, she mused, because now was the time to take advantage of stolen seconds and the thin, inadequate veil of secrecy that a few venetian blinds could offer in a police precinct.

May. 15th, 2012

I can't help it- I've read the 'spoilers' for The Avengers 
[Look here if you've seen it...]

...a million times. Even though I've already SEEN the movie. I just keep getting all happy at the first Tony/Pepper scene. It's cute, the kind of 'new love' flush going on. How they're so loose and so the same in so many ways. Pepper being all 'I'm 'mad' at you for your percentages comment', and then being all cute and laughing at his whole 'life model decoy' bit. 

   He's growing up, Tony. With the whole bit about giving her credit, and all that. Still punctuated with bits of snark and Tony-isms with comments like 'I did all the heavy lifting' and whatnot. I just love it.

 Between that and the Castle finale last week...I'm a big mess of fangirl. It's helping me get over the fact that I haven't had a day off since last Thursday and I won't have another day off until this Saturday. It's only Tuesday. 

If someone were to want to make a nice wallpaper that I could squeal at, or something to distract me, that'd be fantastic. 
Ugh. Honestly. I'm going to lose my mind. My boss is torturing me on purpose, I swear. Last week was the same thing.

May. 14th, 2012

Oh, for the love of all that's good and pure. I'm not loving that today is Monday, the day my boss gets back from vacation. Also...crampy anger time. Early. I'd kill for some sort of early warning system, like having my eyes change to an angry red or my skin turning a nice tint of green.

Seriously, though. Happy, happy, happy day. Woo.
Have to start getting ready for work in half an hour. Had no progress on any of my writing today, and have to work until 6. I think I'm going to come home and squirrel up to my room for a nice long writing session. Possibly some organizing of the bulletin board so I can break out some ideas for a fic challenge. I figure if a murder board works for Beckett a storyboard ought to work for me.

I swear, though. NOT walking to work today. Not by a long shot. If I do I may kill someone in the process. 

May. 14th, 2012

I feel a bit dumb for asking this...but can someone tell me how to read digest comments? When someone who is reading a digest leaves a comment referencing something I can only see 'User so and so left a comment referencing an entry...', but I can't see what they SAID. Is it me, or is there just no way to see?


Season 5! It's official!

Castle will absolutely have a season 5.

There were no doubts, of course, but to have it be officially announced is nice.